Ramblings

So the other night I was listening to a song by James Vincent McMorrow called Higher Love. It's such a beautiful song with really good lyrics and I was inspired to write about how I was feeling at the time. Then I found some other ramblings I typed on my phone about a month or so ago and I joined them together. So here you go.

Ramblings of an insomniac

Sometimes I don't know what to do. God, let me feel Your love. I just need everything to be real. What will it take for me to stop being so inconsistent?If I think about it, I get sad. Everything I'm going through, everything that's in my mind seems so jumbled up. Right now I don't even know if I'm making much sense, but I'm just confused. Deep down, I know what I want and all I want is more of You. I just desperately need You, but my mind and my heart is so messy that I keep forgetting what I'm supposed to want, what I need.Bring me to higher love. Higher love for You.Let me feel this overpowering love that You have for me. I want to drown. Let me drown in Your love. To be empty yet to feel so full. You're all I want to need. You're all I want to see.But I'm not like this. Hold me down, don't let me go. I'm tired of freedom that kept me in chains. I'm running to leave it behind. I want to leave it all behind.You carry the flame. I'll follow You, follow Your light. I want to do it now.I want to do that right now. 

Words.

Isn’t it weird that sometimes the people you love the most are the ones who give you the least bit of encouragement? It’s a bit off, wouldn’t you say?

The Bible has so many passages that talks about how we ought to encourage one another, lift each other up. But I wonder sometimes, how come at times it’s my closest Christian friends who insult me worse than my non-believer friends? In Ephesians 4:29, the Bible says “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Our words should be gracious. Fresh and offering help to others grow as Christians. I roll my eyes at the quote 'words can never hurt me.' I beg to differ. True, words aren’t knives; they can’t hurt you, literally. They do hurt, though. Sometimes insults are like little pokes, you can shrug them off. But when the pokes keep coming, sooner or later you’ll end up with a bruise until it takes only a tiny poke for you to react violently. So friends, watch your talk! Let your good words communicate grace to those who hear them. Let’s build each other up.

I haven’t updated in a while, but now that it’s summer break in the Philippines, I have more free time. School is out, finals week is over, I can now put my feet up and work on getting rid of these dark circles under my eyes. Whew! However, not every day is all fun and games. Lately I’ve been volunteering with a bunch of friends to an area here in Quezon City called Bayoran. We’ve been working with some youth and kids who lost their houses in a fire. The place is an urban poor community and we call the whole thing ‘Friday Knights Exchange.’ The whole thing is just us sharing God’s love to people who normally wouldn’t have access to it. I’ve been put in charge of the children’s activities. I haven’t been able to take my camera to get photos yet, but I will soon. All the children are adorable.

Well, this is quite short. Hopefully I’ll be able to update better now that I’m less busy with things. Thanks for all your prayers and support.

Much love,

Andrea