What do I stand for?

OKAY


A four letter word. Usually a reply to a question. How are you? Do you want some more? Do you need me to come over? How are your grades?
I am an indecisive person. I'm also quite complacent which makes me answer "okay" a lot.
"Andrea, do you want some more rice?"
"Okay."
I know it infuriates quite a number of people. "Do you want it or not?" they'll say. Then, I'll go, "Sure."

I think I have to stop being complacent. In the song "Some Nights" by Fun., there's this line that goes, "What do I stand for?" Then I wonder. What do I stand for? Justice. Truth. Liberty? I'm no Superman.
I'm gonna start thinking about what I really stand for. This year is almost coming to an end and I want to actually be making a change in my life. Change for the better that is. After all, one of my favorite quotes go, "Things are changing and we are changing with them." But I wonder, am I really changing? Or am I merely going with the flow, and not actually taking a stand?
I used to stand for feminism. I wanted women to stand up for themselves, to be strong and independent, to not be weaklings and push-overs. I wanted women to be confident. However, I sometimes wonder if that's really what I want to stand for. The Bible tells women to submit to their husbands. Women weren't created to be leaders of the family. So I might have to rethink everything again.
Like I've said before, I'm in that period of my life where what I do determines who I become in the future. So I really do have to start figuring my crap out.

Lessons

“You know how people say when you die God will say, ‘Well done my good and faithful servant?’ What if He doesn’t? You’ll never get another shot at that. This is the one life we have to live. And it’s fun to make all the mistakes… but it will suck worse if you get to heaven and God just lets you in without saying anything.” –Matt Del Rosario, by the wisdom God has given to him.

     Right now, having just turned 18, I'm in that point in my life where what I do now determines who I become in the future. And I don't want to stay behind with the rest of the people who think of 'free' things. I want to surrender all. Live my life in a way that would make me stand out, not because I want the attention, but because I want people to go like, "Wow. God DOES do amazing work.”

     On Friday, I went to the 2012 Saved Festival where I heard The Katinas, Desperation Band, Abandon and more. Before that, I had my Day with the Lord. It was a wonderful feeling, just tuning everything out and focusing on God and His Word. My devotion that day was becoming like Christ. And two days later, it still rings in my ears. Am I becoming like Christ? I’m supposed to get there, but I wonder. Am I moving forward?

     I’ve mentioned several times in this blog that I’m alone. My family is in another country and I’m here by myself. However, it just struck me. God is not teaching me to be independent this time. I’ve been there, done that. We know how well I handle being left alone. No. God is teaching me to be dependent. He wants me. He wants all of me. However, he can’t use me right now, not while I’m being all strong and independent. Not when I’m boldly sharing about my possessiveness and pride issues. Not when I’m happy staying where I am. Safe and anchored, not moving at all.

So yesterday, I broke down. I cried, I wept, I had tears in my eyes. I sobbed, I bawled my eyes out, think of all the other ways to rephrase this, but the truth is, I went weak. I realized, as I stood above an incredibly tall building, how little I am. I’m nothing but a speck in this world. Yet God, in His overwhelming love for me, gave His Son and everything He had, just so I can have a shot at having a relationship with Him. How could I not let go of whatever useless thing I’ve been holding on to, for the One who loved me so?

     The first semester of my freshman year is over. The second will begin. I fervently hope that when I enter Messiah College on my second semester, people will see a change. The old has gone.

     Andrea has let go. Now God can use her.

Below are lyrics to a song I heard on Friday at the Saved Festival. The lyrics spoke to me, and I pray that somehow, they’ll speak to you too.

Or you could let go of all these things you hold
You could let go and watch your life unfold
You're part of a grand design
Bigger than what you had in mind
But you'll never know, you'll never know
Until you let it go –Abandon ‘Let Go’ 

A Tip on Blessing Others

          Coexisting and Love

     Since I was young, I’ve always imagined the world as a simple place. For me, it was composed of normal people and simple rules. Learn to coexist.

     No. Life is about more than just coexisting.

    What is the greatest commandment? Love the Lord God with all your life, all your soul and all your strength. The second is this. Love your neighbor as yourself. Where in that line would you find God telling you to simply coexist?

     Why am I talking about this right now? Recently, I observed my surroundings. My college, my church, even my house, I studied the people carefully. Are we living with love for others or are we merely coexisting? We acknowledge that they’re there, but we don’t take the time to appreciate them. We see them, but we don’t really see them.

     Take my college for example. It’s small, less than a hundred students. We are close, the college has a very ‘family-like’ setting. But yet, there are still a lot of us who have never had a conversation with the other students from different batches. We know about each other, but we don’t know each other. Distinction. Same goes for the church. Our church is not even a mega-church, yet on Sundays, I realized that I don’t even talk to the other members, especially the new ones. And it’s worse than my experience in school, I don’t even know some people exist!

     It’s just starting to get to me that we are all in God’s family. My churchmates, schoolmates and batchmates, we are all supposed to be one. How can a body function when there is no communication?

      This week, I strive to change. I will appreciate others, and not just in my mind either. I will take the time to get to know them, have a conversation, and find a way to bless them.  

A simple essay

 Messiah College

                                                               Midterm Exam

Andrea Natividad                                                                                            September 11, 2012

                          Women who get pregnant out of wedlock should not necessarily marry

I believe that it was L.M. Montgomery who once said, “We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us.”

I agree with this statement. One mistake should not define your future. If a woman who committed pre-marital sex with a man whom she was not planning to marry gets pregnant, realizes her mistake and gets married to her ‘baby daddy’ because they believe that this will make them right in God’s eyes, they are wrong. God’s will for marriage is not based on having a baby. Marriage is a sacred gift of God to humankind. How could something be given when you take it without it being offered to you? That is not receiving, that is considered stealing.

“I’m pregnant.” Those two words can flip your world upside down. For a young woman, unmarried and with no committed partner, this news is bad. The news is even worse when this young woman happens to be a Christian who made a mistake one night. She knows that what she did was wrong, and she wants to make things right. So she wants to get married, because it is God’s desire for every child to have a father. This young woman may not be in love with this man, and he is certainly not a guy she would ever marry if she wasn’t pregnant, but this would make things right, right? NO! Two wrongs don’t make a right. She may be making an even bigger mistake and may even be completely removing herself from God’s will if she follows through with this decision. She could be sacrificing whatever God’s best plan for her is in exchange of something that she and the man may think is right. This woman, by wanting to do what is right, may just be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

By getting married, two people commit to a lifelong covenant. The words ‘til death do us apart’ should ring in your ears. Having a baby is no reason to get married. What if the child gets in an accident and tragically passes away? The couple now has no reason to stay married. Thus they divorce. Statistics prove that couples who get married because a baby is on the way have a higher chance of failure than those marriages based on real love, patience and trust.

Of course there are certain cases when it is the best for the expecting couple to get married. For instance, if they were already planning to get married, it would absolutely be the wisest choice to just get married sooner. Having both a mother and a father present before the child is born is the most ideal situation. The couple, who had a good solid foundation for their relationship, will most likely work out with no problems. They were already on the way to marriage; the baby may just be a speed lane. However, if you’re talking about a different couple, marriage is most definitely not the path they should take. This couple might just be marrying for the sake of saving themselves from embarrassment of their sin. It takes a lot of maturity to raise a child. However, by being rash in their decision to get married, the couple is showing immaturity. They are just going to prolong the wait until their marriage, which was not built on a solid foundation, eventually collapses. If you want a marriage to properly work, God should be at the center, not a pregnancy.

References:

http://www.professorshouse.com/Relationships/Dating/Articles/I-am-Pregnant-Should-We-Get-Married/

http://www.divorcehope.com/pregnantchildoutofwedlock.htm

http://www.gotquestions.org/pregnant-married.html 

http://www.christianforums.com/t7520510/   

Becoming the Better Person

A lot of us have experienced being hurt, being picked on and being wronged. One of the easiest things to do is to lash out in anger and cry. It's a bit harder to brush it off, to ignore the bullies and to pretend nothing happened. What is hard is to turn the other cheek and to treat them with love.

This past few days, I have experienced this nagging depression, sadness, loneliness, homesickness, betrayal, hurts, pain and etc. It hurts when you hear bad news. It hurts when the people you thought you could trust talk about you behind your back. Numerous people have experienced this. You're so blessed if you got away without having to go through this. Just two days ago, I opened my Bible desperately. I felt called to read something and for some reason Psalms 31 jumped in my mind. Now, I've never read this passage before. I'm not too big on Psalms, I have to admit. I've always been an Ecclesiastes girl. However, after reading this particular Psalm, I suddenly... understood everything.



God needed to get my attention. He wanted me on my knees. He wanted me to turn to Him; He longed to have that level of closeness that we shared in the beginning of the year. Everything I've been hearing lately is a clear arrow to: TALK WITH GOD!!!!

And I did.

And everything is now right.

Well, not everything. In my heart I have peace. But quoting Charles Stanley, "When God speaks, He usually calls for an act of courage in our part."
My act of courage was to be the better person. To turn my cheek, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing, and to love them with the love of God. Now that was hard. But for some reason, after asking for help, it became easy.
I'm not bragging. All of a sudden, I felt this overwhelming love for these people. I wanted to do everything I could for them. And knowing how a few days ago, if I saw these guys, I would confront them or worse, cry. Now, I just want to smile at them and talk and hug them and just be the weird one.

If you're dealing with something like this, I know that it's hard. But you don't have to go through it alone. Read Psalm 31. It is a wonderful, uplifting psalm. I just want to encourage you, be there for you the way some people were there for me.

I'm doing well now. Blessed be the Lord.



Peace and love.
Andrea
xxo

Day #3 Random Challenge

Day #3 Challenge


6 Things I see in my room.


Fairly easy since I live in something like a studio type apartment. Sorry this'll be short.

1. Laptop

2. Books.

3. Contact lens case

4. Family pictures

5. My Kindle Touch

6. Diary


-andrea
xxx

Day #2 Random Challenge

Well I should have written this yesterday. 


7 Things I like




1. When I have a good photo. 
It's not that I'm vain or anything it's just it's nice when you see a good picture of yourself. Especially a self portrait. Haha. 


2. When I see people who really care for each other. 
It doesn't matter whether it's real, on TV or on movies, but when you really see love and people cherishing each other, I feel like crying because it's a beautiful picture. Love is good. 


3. Good hair. 
Who doesn't appreciate great hair? Especially on guys? And by good I don't mean random weird. I mean a great style. Talk about the quiff. Best hair on guys ever. Well, some guys. 


4. Great conversations. 
When you're chilling with your friends on the bed having a great conversation that is half funny and joking while you're talking about some serious stuff. Then occasional throw of a pillow at your friend's face. 


5. Food
I love food. I don't cook, but I do love to eat. And judge what is good and what is not. I would love to be a food critic. I like ice cream and frozen yogurt. And cake, lots and lots of cake. Omelettes are amazing too and so are pizzas and vegetable salads. Taco Bell is my favorite place to eat lunch, they serve really yummy food. :-) 


6. The Perfect Song
It's amazing when a great song comes on right at the perfect time. The show Chuck has a lot of these moments. The show Veronica Mars does too. Sometimes I get this feeling that I need to start playing some music out loud just to suit the mood, but that'd be really weird in real life. 


7. Covers on YouTube
I like to discover neat unsigned artists who have great potential. Sometimes they sing really good songs but lately a lot of the YouTube people have started singing a lot of mainstream songs. Still good, but my type to listen to are indie, folk and alternative. Anyways, it's still great to watch covers on YouTube and any other videos. 




7 Things I dislike




1. Selfish brats.
They're selfish. Brats are spoiled. They're opposite of what I like. What else can I say? 


2. Really bad acting. 
This is mostly seen on soap operas who hire good looking people with no experience. Sure they look good on TV, but these people still make us barf. 


3. Famous people who are famous for no reason. 
No talent, but they do have an important last name, important connections and good looks. Here in the Philippines, you add foreign blood and that's the making of a superstar. Great job. What happened to old fashioned working hard for something and being good at it and being rejected until you get your big break? Most big breaks shouldn't happen because you were at a mall and someone asked you if you had foreign blood. 


4. Ignorance. 
Sometimes ignorance is bliss, but othertimes it makes you look stupid and like a selfish brat, which is one of the things I dislike. When people are ignorant, they have to decide on two things. Do they want to expand their knowledge or stay like that? And if they pick the latter, well, I have nothing really nice to say so I''ll move on. 


5. Cockroaches. 
Ew. Ew. Ew. 


6. When something is wasted. 
Especially food. Food not used or finished should be given to people, or dogs. They shouldn't be thrown away if they could still be eaten. That's just sad. I hate wasting anything. 


7. When someone is mad and doesn't say why. 
They should just be honest. Direct confrontation is better than someone living in agony for days without knowing what she/he did wrong. 






Sorry this was short. Oh well. I'll post again for Day 3.